Pressed or Stressed?

I took a class at WSU this weekend, “Stress Management for the Educator.”  It stressed me out.  Let me give a few examples:  The class began with us making personal mission statements based on our likes, talents, etc.  One statement to complete was, “Best moment of my past week…”  I should have known there was trouble brewing when I answered the question with “My therapy session.”  I also learned, per the example of Covey’s Time Management Matrix, that I spend the majority of my time doing tasks that are “not urgent, not important.”  It seems to me that OCD behaviors should get their own quadrant.  (Of course that would make five categories, which is much more satisfying numerically, but what do you call them; pentrants?)  Anyway, the category could be “urgent, irritating” or perhaps “compelling, uninteresting.”

I also learned that I thoroughly lack the ability to say “No” when people ask me to do things.  I thought I had improved in that area, only to find out that it has been easy to say “no” when I use the reason that I am “dealing with a mental illness and need some time to sort things through.”  Nobody argues with that.  When you take that excuse off the table, I can’t even say no to the people requesting stuff during a role-play situation.  Sheesh.

I did excel in one area:  Cognitive Distortions.  I have plenty of them.  I think in black-or-white, I awfulize, I predict the future, I give up, I label, I overgeneralize, I use “should” statements and self-recrimination.  Unfortunately, this is an area that is unhealthy.  Are you starting to see why this class was stressful to me?  I even learned that I breathe wrong.  Thirty-eight years of breathing and no one thought to stop and say, “Michelle, you’re doing that wrong!”  You’d think I could at least get a brain stem function correct. 

I have a love/hate relationship with these types of classes.  It makes me nervous to be around strangers, but the class is more interesting and educational when we are placed in groups and forced to engage in different modalities of learning.  Most times, the group forms a quasi-family feel, and this was no different.  As we began group work, one lady dumped a bunch of candy on our table, and I couldn’t concentrate, so I just said, “Before we work together, you guys need to know that I have OCD, and I can’t concentrate until we square these tables and I categorize this candy.”  And wouldn’t you know that they were so compliant and careful the entire weekend to keep our table straight and candy lined up for me.  My own family doesn’t even accommodate me so well.

So what nuggets of wisdom can I take with me from this weekend?  How can I manage my stress better?  I think it mostly boils down to commitment.  There are a million ways to organize your life and your day.  Emergencies will always pop up (like the waterfall that occurred from my kitchen ceiling last night, but that’s another blog.)   How committed am I to make the most of my day, to live my life to the fullest?  How committed am I to accept other people as they are, to expect the best out of them?  Do I practice this in my own family, with my husband and children?  You know there’s a problem when your teenager calls you with bad news because “The Wrath of Mom” is easier to take over the phone than in person.  If I can’t keep perspective about what’s important in my own family, then there is little chance that I will handle the stresses and issues in my classroom, at the grocery store, while driving, etc.  Maybe it’s not commitment, but perspective that’s needed; or commitment with perspective and perseverance.

The apostle Paul wrote to the church in Philippi, “I focus on this one thing:  Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.  I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”  There’s the commitment and perspective I want.  Did Paul worry about the cleanliness of his home, or what his neighbors thought of him?  Did he fret over the cost of travel or food?  No, he was driven with purpose.  I have been given the exact same purpose as Paul.  My compass may need resetting more than his, but as I press on I pray that I will allow the daily stresses to be what they truly are; minor irritations, and focus on looking forward to a glorious future.