2016 has been one of the most painful years of my life; a continuation of dealing with trials from the past few years combined with a concerted effort to heal from abuse both recent and long past. It's not been a very fun year, and I'm fairly glad to see it go.
Yet, one of the blessings of pain is that, shepherded properly, it can be the catalyst for immense growth and wisdom. This year has also created a shift in my outlook as to my life purpose and a greater clarity about how to manage daily living. I've learned more than I wanted to.
I've learned that life will always have a degree of emptiness without deep and intimate friendships. We were created with a need for community and relationships. Even a healthy husband/wife relationship cannot fulfill every role in a person's life.Jesus modeled life in community when he lived on the Earth...a trio of intimate friends, nine more close friends, and a limited number of other family friends. He spent a great deal of time in the living rooms and dining rooms of friends, chatting and eating. And he was never seen as lazy, or a time-waster, for doing these things. Our society tends to believe that people who devote time to friendships are not working hard enough. They should be working more, volunteering more, doing more. We have forgotten the value of being.
Spending time in the presence of another; taking it upon yourself to learn that person, for the purpose of understanding them better and loving them better...that is true intimacy. And it takes effort. Looking at their life through their eyes; imagining how their past affects their view of their present. Understanding, or trying to understand, the why behind their choices.
And as you learn the intricacies of your friends, they mirror you. They call out the truths they see in you. It can be horrifyingly vulnerable. They see the good, the bad, and the ugly. And they name it.They name the beautiful in me which I can't see for myself. They hold up that mirror and they refuse to put it down until I see the gorgeousness too. They name the fear and as I agree with them, together we disarm evil by bringing the darkness into the light. They name my shame and, even though I keep putting that cloak back on, they keep ripping it off. They refuse to let me see myself as anything other than the Truth that is Michelle.
But one person can't do all that. I, for one, need a full cadre of strong and amazing people to pull this off. This year has armed me well. I've never had as many people supporting me and truly knowing me as I do at this moment.
So, thank you, my dear friends. You have blessed me in so many ways. We have laughed together, cried together, eaten together, spent the night in the ER together, walked in the rain together, texted a ridiculous amount together (my fault, I know), driven to counseling appointments together, cussed out most of humanity together, gone to concerts together, crocheted together, drank endless cups of coffee together, run off to the far corners of the earth (not together) yet still managed to chat about shoes and rainforests and Donald Trump and all manner of things. I love you all. I love learning who you are, your οὐσία--your essence.
Here's to a New Year, to more adventures, to spending time blessing each other in the joys and the sorrows and all the mundane bits in between.
