Hope is the thing with feathers...

Our family has had some very discouraging experiences lately.  And at times things felt hopeless...  It was easy to react to circumstances around us and become depressed.  But that is not the natural state of a God-follower, and the Lover of our souls thrills to show us a better way.  For me, He delights in surprising me with the gift of a feather.  Yesterday, He partnered with Chris (and a few birds) to remind us of some important truths.

Allow me to share our little story with you:

Cooper's Hawk

Chris and I were looking out the kitchen window yesterday morning, and saw a bird stalking something.  

Perspective from that window is difficult at times, because the backyard is large, and it took a moment to realize it was a Cooper’s hawk; we hadn't recognized the massive size of the bird until we began comparing it to objects near it--it was at least a foot tall when standing.  

We couldn't see what it was hunting, but it was intent, swooping from branch to branch, standing still, listening.  Eventually, we went on about our business, ignoring the bird.  After all, we were overwhelmed with life.

Our Hope Feather

Later in the day, Chris felt compelled to walk into the backyard; he felt that there was a feather waiting for me.  He walked blindly to where the hawk had been, as he felt directed, and there was ONE feather sitting there.  As he picked it up, he felt that it signified hope.

He relayed his experience as he gave me the feather. He was certain it was from the hawk we had seen.  

I Googled hawk feathers, and it looked similar, but not quite.  I figured there had to be some relationship between this feather and the hawk, so I continued to read and learn about the Cooper's Hawk.  I learned that it preys on smaller birds…such as this bird...

 

Red-bellied Woodpecker (don't ask me why it's red-bellied, when its head is redder than its belly)

 ...whose tail feathers look just like our hope feather!

Red-bellied Woodpecker feathers

And then I began worrying.  Did the hawk totally maul this bird?  So I went into the backyard; looked around.  There were NO OTHER feathers.  I had seen pictures on the internet of what those hawks did to birds--utter carnage!  There was NO WAY the woodpecker had been killed, at least not here in our yard.

Back inside, I researched the woodpeckers.  They tend to forage for bugs in dead and formerly healthy trees, and are pivotal in halting the Emerald Ash Borer, removing up to 85% of the larvae from an infected tree.  So basically, they remove evil and allow health to flourish.

A predator was after it…but it appears the only damage it did was to remove a single tail feather.

 

A feather, fully plucked from a bird, can be re-grown in two weeks.

So this bird, his life threatened, thinking perhaps that this was the end…he simply lost a tail feather.  That’s how ineffective his enemy was.

I relayed this to Chris.  His “hope” feather was indeed true.  It was telling us that the enemy may hunt us, and we may feel as if our life is all but lost…but at that desperate moment, all we might lose is a tail feather…something easily re-grown.  We cannot be defeated.

We forget that our experiences, which can be pleasant or painful, are not what defines our state of being.  We are called to be MORE THAN the sum of our experiences; instead of simply reacting to life, we are to move in our lives and the lives of others as a FORCE for good.  We are to be little red-bellied woodpeckers, gently removing the bad so healthy growth can occur...and when we are attacked, we can relax in the unseen forces around us, protecting us, lifting us, carrying us to safety.

Yes, we may lose a tail feather every now and then.  We may even feel like a plucked Thanksgiving turkey, but the enemy is ineffective and will ultimately lose.  When we feel like life is overwhelming us, as if wave after wave is crashing into us...as if we are facing a tsunami...we have HOPE.  Something so strong, so firm, so secure, that no storm can destroy it!

Michelle Cherry-Picks Leviticus in a Culturally Inappropriate Way (which is funner) *with pictures!

After my recent blogs, certain anomalies have come to my attention…

Yes, I’m going to chat about homosexuality again, in the context of the Bible and Christianity.

Before I delve into OT law, I give you...JEWVERINE!

I watch prominent Christian groups pull the same verses from the Bible over and over to prove a point…I even used to do the exact same thing; but it’s begun to get under my skin. These are the verses:

Leviticus 18:22 “Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman.  It is a detestable sin.”  Hmm, “detestable”…yep, sure sounds like God REALLY hates that.

Leviticus 20:13 “If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act.  They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense.” OH YEAH.  “Put to death”…must be a REALLY BIG SIN.

Seems super-obvious right?  …As long as you subscribe to the cherry-picked version of Leviticus where you ignore all the other verses.  Like these:

Leviticus 11, which tells you not to eat animals such as pigs, rabbits, snake, shrimp, lobsters,etc.  Hey, you can’t even TOUCH a dead one.  So…my favorite childhood stuffed animal—a cat made from REAL (dead) RABBIT FUR!—“defiled” me.  And what about all those former football players who used a genuine “pigskin”?  DEFILED!  These animals are called “detestable”—the same adjective used for homosexuality.  And btw, NO MORE BACON FOR YOU!!!

Leviticus 17:10  “And if any native Israelite or foreigner living among you eats or drinks blood in any form, I will turn against that person and cut him off from the community of your people,”  Ever had a steak or hamburger rare or medium-rare?  Whoops.  I guess it’s off to the desert for you. <kisses goodbye>  Don't forget to stay hydrated.

Leviticus 18:19,26 “Do not have sexual relations with a woman during her period of menstrual impurity….You must not commit any of these detestable sins.”  Not even a teeny-weeny little bit.  And notice this is grouped in the SAME CATEGORY AS HOMOSEXUALITY.  Punishment:  Banishment.  FOR LIFE.  Yea, I went there.  It’s right there with homosexuality, men.  So stop yelling “Abomination” okay?  Don’t make us pry into your sexual history to see if we need to ostracize you too.

Leviticus 19:16,17 “Do not spread slanderous gossip among your people.  Do not stand idly by while your neighbor’s life is threatened.  I am the Lord.  Do not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your relatives.”  This verse is literally SANDWICHED BETWEEN THE TWO VERSES ON HOMOSEXUALITY.  Why don’t we treat these sins as seriously?  Why not start a campaign against slander and gossip and hatred?  Now THAT would improve the world!

Chris's new look.  He rocks it like a BOSS!

Leviticus 19:27,28 "Do not trim off the hair on your temples or trim your beards.  Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos.  I am the Lord.”  So, it’s okay to trim beards now; to cut your hair also—but tattoos are still detestable?  Do I have that correct?  God puts them both in the same breath, but we assign our own judgmental values on their holiness.  Is anyone other than me seeing the RAMPANT HYPOCRISY?  Can someone tell me WHEN did GOD split these two instructions apart and assign one to be void and the other to be valid?

Leviticus 20:9 “Anyone who dishonors father or mother must be put to death.  Such a person is guilty of a capital offense.”  OUCH.  Seems like there should be a bunch of dead kids out there.  Same paragraph as an anti-homosexual verse, so, you know, let’s keep all these laws, eh?

Perhaps you disregard the OT verses, and use the NT verses as your argument.  Verses such as these:

1 Corinthians 6:9,10 “Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God?  Don’t fool yourselves.  Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.”  TAKE NOTE:  Homosexuality IS NOT singled out as being worse than anything else on this list.

The church as an institution has a corner on THIS disease.

1 Timothy 1:10,11 “The law is for people who are sexually immoral, or who practice homosexuality, or are slave traders, liars, promise breakers, or who do anything else that contradicts the wholesome teaching that comes from the glorious Good News entrusted to me by our blessed God.”

Yes, the Bible has words to say against the practice of homosexuality, JUST LIKE PEOPLE WHO DO THE FOLLOWING:  (note; BEING a homosexual is never stated as a sin.  NEVER.  And p.s. There are NO recorded words from Jesus about homosexuality either.)

·        Take other Christians to court

·         Cheat

·         Are involved in ANY sexual sin (like porn, masturbation, lustful thoughts, watching or reading sexually explicit material, premarital crossing boundaries, extramarital boundary crossing, or simply having sexual relations with your spouse with a selfish heart)

·         Steal

·         Are greedy

·         Drink too much alcohol

·         Are abusive, either physically or verbally

·         Cheat people

·         Lie

·         Break promises

·         Do anything un-biblical

Who can look at that list and call themselves sinless?  Ever looked at another kid’s paper to see what answer they put down for number ten?  Then you are GUILTY.  Ever looked at a girl and wondered what she looked like naked?  GUILTY.  Ever kind-of stretched the truth on your charitable giving on your taxes?  GUILTY.  Were you a party binge drinker in college?  GUILTY.  Ever told your child that you would do something for them, and forgot?  GUILTY.  Got frustrated at that sales clerk and spoke harshly to her?  GUILTY.  Honestly, I’m fairly certain I do at least one of these things daily.  I mean, who can manage a day without doing ONE THING “that contradicts the wholesome teaching…”?

Sure, we may look at the previous examples and say, “Well, in comparison, those things are minor infractions.”  I beg to differ.  Are your actions contrary to the Holy nature of our God?  We are not called to compare ourselves to other people; we are called to strive to be like the Holiest of Holy!

I may be repeating myself, but I don’t think people get this:  SIN IS SIN.  YOUR SIN ISN’T ANY BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE’S SIN.

I have been given a massive blessing by having some amazing and wonderful people in my life, who also happen to be homosexual.  When I am with them, I don’t sit around and think about that aspect of their life every single moment I am with them.  If I did, then there would be something wrong with me and my thinking.  I don’t want others who have a relationship with me to constantly think about the nature of my sexual life while I am with them, either.  That’s sick.  If I can’t stop thinking about sex, then it’s my thought life that needs an overhaul, no matter what is going on in that other person’s life.

Perhaps if we began focusing on our own sins instead of pointing out the sins of others(or behaving as if THEY are more sinful than we are), the world would see Christ in us a little better.  After all, I can only change me.  And other people won’t see the love of God in you, or learn about His grace through Jesus if you don’t show it through your actions.  If you show hate and anger, they will learn that your god is a vindictive and evil god.  If you show love and compassion, then they will be given the opportunity to see the true God through you.

I'm learning.  Thanks to all those amazingly patient people out there.

Michelle plays connect the dots between Misogyny and Homophobia; Part Four: Namaste

PART FOUR:

Namaste

You can read the previous posts by clicking here:
Part One: Male Space
Part Two: Gaydar
Part Three: Tables Turned

Unfortunately, our social problems are much greater than just misogyny and homophobia.

It’s a mindset in all of humanity.  In men and women.  It’s a refusal to choose empathy.  It’s a stubborn, deep-within-myself narcissistic need to be RIGHT—and therefore YOU ARE WRONG.  It’s an insistence that MY WAY is the correct way, and YOU NEED TO SEE IT MY WAY.  And I DON’T NEED TO LOOK AT IT FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE BECAUSE I’VE ALREADY GOT IT FIGURED OUT.

All the shouting, the finger-pointing, the hatred.  It’s tearing us apart. 

Whatever happened to “They know we are Christians by our love”?  Who would say that about us now? 

In my pastor’s sermon a few Sundays ago, he mentioned that a recent poll of young adults, when asked what “Christians” are, they responded with the word “self-righteous”.  And I’d say that is spot-on, when discussing what the vast majority of the church looks like today.  I grow weary of the whiny facebook posts of people complaining they are being persecuted and how we need to stand up for our rights as American Christians, before we lose them all.  (P.S.  “American Christian” is an oxymoron.  Ever heard this?  “There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female.  For you are all one in Christ Jesus.”  We are to put our patriotism aside for a greater cause.  Yes, I am exceedingly glad to have been born in America.  But it comes secondary to my Christianity.  By far.  I don’t say I am a Female Christian or a White Christian, or identify my Christianity in any other way.  My spiritual identity is in CHRIST, and Christ alone.)

It’s funny, because I don’t recall a single sermon being preached by Jesus or any of the apostles where getting persecuted was a worry.  I recall lots of joy about persecution.  And lots of stuff about loving pagans.  But I don’t recall ANYTHING about where we are supposed to preach “YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!”  You know, “Turn or Burn” or "You Murdered Your Baby!"

As a matter of fact, I’m fairly certain that the fear of hell is NOT how Jesus wants us to invite people to heaven.

He wants us to love people so profoundly that they desire to be WITH us.  That they feel the love dripping off of us like sweet honey—and they want even just a lick of it, it tastes so good.
 

But we are leaving bitter fecal droppings for the world. 

I recall sermons at my former church against the abomination that is the homosexual community.  The groups that were gathered to picket or to “walk” against certain “homosexual agendas”.  Or, for that matter, the picketing against the abortion clinics.  Or the leaflets left on our windshields during church, letting us know all the respectable Republican candidates we should vote for in the upcoming election, because it was the “moral” thing to do to save us from the pagan Democrats.  It almost seemed like we piled so many things we were AGAINST, that we didn’t have the time or the energy to be FOR a single thing.  We were against gay marriage, abortion, divorce, the liberal agenda, taking prayer out of schools, democrats (I was a closet democrat—I got tired of people saying, “How can you possibly be a DEMOCRAT and a CHRISTIAN?”  The answer is simply, “Go read the actual definitions of the parties.  The definition of Democrat is not actually “Gay baby killer who watches porn while on public assistance.”)

I'm scared to ask if this is satire or not...

It is tiring, quite frankly, to muster up enough righteous indignation all the time.

When I began to think about it, really think about it, I realized all this righteous indignation IS an attitude found in the bible.  It’s what the Pharisees looked like.  And that’s THE ONLY TIME WHEN JESUS GOT ANGRY AND SPOKE HARSHLY TO OTHER PEOPLE.  That’s right, Jesus never spoke hateful words to anyone except those conservative religious people who were so certain that they were right. 

That should give us all pause.

I know it makes me think, and it makes me question myself every time I go to judge another person.  It makes me very, very glad that it’s not my job to judge them.  Not my job at all.  I am called to do two things, and two things only:              

I must love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind, AND
I must love my neighbor as myself.

Our job is to see them as carriers of God's spirit, first and foremost.  Would we yell spiteful words at Jesus if He was standing right before us?  But every human is a unique creation of God, designed to carry a specific quality of Him into the world, something NO OTHER HUMAN could do.  We ALL carry within us a certain "je ne sais quoi".

So before I give some twisted, rationalized version of what “loving” a person truly is, I must back up and place myself in their shoes (it’s called empathy), and make sure that if I was in such a situation, I would actually be loved by that action.  It’s taking down the barriers, and not self righteously saying, “Well, I would NEVER  be in that situation—I would NEVER do THAT!”  Perhaps.  But, as Jesus said, “If you have even harbored  hate in your heart, you have committed murder.  And if you have lusted, you have committed adultery.”  Those are not empty words.  How many people have you killed?  I’m guilty.

I have learned every human has a back story.  Even those who abuse others; those people harbor unresolved pain in their lives.  And if I had experienced their life up to that point, I may have committed that sin too.  The truth is, no one knows.  I can be thankful for the past I have had which prohibits me from desiring certain behaviors, but I can't limit my thinking to believe that ANYTHING SINFUL is beyond my capabilities, given the "right" (or wrong) past and present circumstances and stressors.

And God created EVERY. HUMAN.  For the same reason.  Because He was inspired, and loved the idea which turned into that unique soul.

Forgive the profanity, but many times I believe this is true for Christians.  We WANT TO BELIEVE that God loves us more because of our piety.  But it's not true.  The "prodigal son" parable blows that misconception totally out of the water.

I admit it, I've been the jerk.

Jesus and the early church members willingly gave up everything, even their lives, for their faith.  They never yelled words of hate against other people while they were suffering, either.  It’s quite a contrast. They lost their jobs, and they rejoiced.  They didn’t shout about their rights being revoked.  Oh, for the joy of being able to suffer for the cause of Christ!  I would much rather lose my “rights”, and do it in a way that causes people to wonder what wonderful peace is within my heart than to keep my “rights” or even fight for them and lose the true battle of showing people how to find Jesus.

Have we forgotten what the true battle is? 

                For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Nothing in this world matters but the souls of God’s precious children.  And He is not exclusionary.  He created each human for a reason; each human is loved and precious and holds a piece of eternity within themselves. 

Namaste, to each and every one of you.

Michelle plays connect the dots between Misogyny and Homophobia; Part Three: Tables Turned

PART THREE:

Tables Turned

Chris and I grew up in a small, homogenous town.

Chris first experienced homosexuals when he went off to college, at Ohio State University.  And it was a culture shock.  Columbus was on the edge of the battle for gay rights; extremely progressive for the ‘80’s.  Homosexuals attended OSU simply to be a part of the gay rights movement, and some were bitter and angry about the way they had been ostracized from society.  The fight was on campus in a big way, with flamboyance and aggressiveness.  Chris experienced, for the first time in his life, sexual aggression.  Men would eye him, attempt to grope him, catcall him as he went from class to class.

1985 Gay Pride parade in Columbus, one of the first few in the nation.  The movement began in this area as a backlash against those who were tormenting and abusing homosexuals.

These initial experiences shaped his perception of what the gay community looked like.  They were hyper-sexual and predatory, and created a huge sense of dread within him.  In order to prevent being sexually harassed, he began avoiding the people who had the appearance that these men on campus displayed. 

When he finally shared this with me, watching his body language as he mimicked the men ogling him, my first reaction was not one I am proud of.  I was glad. I said, “HEY, now you know what it’s like to be a woman!”  And I felt vindicated. 

I was glad that he, as a white male, had to experience sexual harassment.  A part of my brain was gleeful that this MAN had to deal with something that is a part of my everyday FEMALE existence. I mean, I go through these things ALL THE TIME.  And men belittle these experiences ALL THE TIME.  They act like they shouldn’t be such a big deal, but they don’t know because they’ve never experienced the icky, shameful feeling of being on the receiving end of unwanted sexual advances.

Either way, nobody should be happy that another person was taken advantage of, sexually, emotionally, physically, or spiritually.  Especially, you know, when that person is your spouse.  But my husband is gracious, and for that I am grateful.

But then so many things became clear.  Chris began to become hyper-vigilant around people who appeared to be homosexuals because of these isolated events.  Because he’d been traumatized, perhaps without realizing it—men do react to these things differently than women, and his visceral reaction was a desire to be violent when he’d been sexually harassed.

What those men did on that campus was wrong, but what they did is not representative of homosexuals as a whole.  Some men are sexually aggressive, and it is wrong and abusive and traumatic.  (Some women are also sexually aggressive, but statistically speaking, the percentage is significantly less.)  And suddenly, Chris and I had a common experience.  We both knew EXACTLY what it felt like to have a sexually aggressive male come after you.  We made a connection.

But if those aggressive men are also homosexuals, these experiences may also turn heterosexual men into homophobes through the trauma of interacting with them.

But heterosexual men, unlike women, are not used to living life as a victim, so any victimization is going to cause them a greater trauma than us. Most women I know live life in a hyper-vigilant state.  We look out for ourselves and other women when going places after dark, or when a man seems out of place at a female gathering.  Victimization is “normal” for us.  But men, in general, go from place to place without fear.  I have had men tell me not to walk in the parks alone, not to go to certain public avenues alone…as they do the same.  When I question them about the dichotomy, their response is that they can defend themselves, but I could be overcome.  How senseless.  Against a gun or knife?  Against a drug slipped into your drink?  Against multiple attackers? 

Men casually touch women A LOT.  Our shoulders, arms, waists...*newsflash* THIS CREEPS US OUT.  Remember, 1/3 of us have already been sexually abused.  We DON'T TRUST YOU.

Men feel safe because, as I stated in part one, they “own” the space around them.

But my husband suddenly understood the feeling of not “owning” his space.  His experiences at OSU did at first create within him some stereotypes and homophobia (as discussed in part 2), which were pretty much overcome with the relationships he has with his brothers.  But the revelation of his past experiences opened my eyes to what I had previously believed was bigotry and intolerance.  To be able to understand the effects of misogyny in the life of a woman…he needed to learn the root cause of his homophobia.

Random photo of me with Mr. Wonderful.  I love him so much.

And he GOT IT!  It was an “aha” moment that shocked him.  For him to realize that women experience FREQUENTLY what he only experienced a few times created a huge amount of compassion and empathy for all women.  The amount of tension we experience in public places.  And that, to fix the problem, the entire mindset of society needs to be changed.  He realized that MEN were often the problem.   Sure, we can teach women to use safety measures.  But that won’t change the underlying issue.  Ever.  

So what is the underlying issue?  My three-part series inexplicably grew...