I’m sitting in the orthodontist parking lot, waiting for my daughter, way too early in the morning for any sane appointment, eating my breakfast and waiting for inspiration to hit. The only thing that’s hitting me is a desire for a nap. I’m on week two of exhaustion; I am apparently not sleeping well, yelling random sentences out in the middle of the night, completely freaking out my husband. Last night, I yelled something like, “I didn’t use the sheets yesterday!”
Sleep-talking can be a dangerous thing. It’s okay when it’s just mumbling, but I could shout out just about anything—my deepest, darkest secrets could be exposed. Sure, it would be to Chris, and I think he just about knows them all by now, but still, I like to have conscious control over my tongue.
Words, whether written or spoken, have power to harm and heal. I think about all the words that were said or unsaid that have been discussed in therapy. Children on the playground, teenagers in the hallways, exhausted and overworked parents. Words from dear friends to lift me up, the prayers of my husband, the innocent and loving remarks of my children, the wisdom of my therapist.
The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing,
But the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness. –Proverbs 15:2
How am I using my words? Do I go about my day “belching” out every thought that crosses my mind, or do I prayerfully discern what is appropriate before opening my mouth? To be completely honest, I’d have to say probably a little of both. In moments of tiredness, cutting and sarcastic words are like arrows at my family caught in the crosshairs. I might as well be “sleep-talking,” taking no consideration of others’ feelings. During other moments, I encourage and comfort family and friends (mostly by keeping my mouth shut and just listening).
The lips of the wise give good advice;
The heart of a fool has none to give. –Proverbs 15:7
Sometimes words need to be said that are hard. I’ve been on the giving and receiving end of those types of words this week. Words spoken in love, with the best of intentions, received by a teachable heart. I am thankful that I have friends who are willing to show me when I step awry and friends who trust me enough to ask for the ugly truth.
Gentle words are a tree of life… --Proverbs 15:4
To speak the truth in love can be painful. A dear family member showed me this week the bravery and “chutzpah” it takes to be willing to hang your own relationships out on the line to reconcile others. He spoke the truth with a gentle spirit, believing that with God all people can be reconciled and no one is too far gone to be received. How often I have given up on others, forgetting that my Father is the great Forgiver, the perfect Reconciler. That’s what He’s in the business of…bringing people to Him, and how can we remain in discord with each other while being in harmony with Him? When a love for the Father is our common ground, there should be nothing that can separate us.
May the words of my mouth
And the meditation of my heart
Be pleasing to you,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. –Psalm 19:14
Purify my heart, Father, so that from its overflow comes words of gentleness, truth, and wisdom. May my heart and tongue please you with not just words but also the motivation behind them. Make me aware of my words and their impact on others—keep me from “sleep-talking.”
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