If the shoe fits...

 My husband and I are taking our annual weekend away in Bloomington, IN.  We stay in a lovely bed and breakfast, the Showers Inn (www.showersinn.com), and he takes a class at IU while I relax, read, and shop.  We eat at quaint restaurants (last night it was Afghan food at Samira’s), and spend a day shopping in Nashville, IN, on our way home.

This is one of my favorite weekends of the year.  Having a day all to myself, free from responsibilities and obligations, to do whatever I please, is a pleasure beyond words.  I am currently in the bay window nook of our suite, drinking coffee and enjoying the view.  It’s a good time for introspection.

I have been struggling with feelings of insignificance as the new school year is coming upon us and the impact of not being gainfully employed is coming fully home.  Yesterday Chris and I went shoe shopping (another perk of this trip), and I couldn’t find anything useful to buy, knowing that I wouldn’t be dressing for work (and if you knew what a shoe fetish I have, this would truly shock you).  

But this morning I came across this verse while reading the bible:

                So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable.  Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.  1 Corinthians 15:58(NLT)

This got me thinking.  My feelings of insignificance are just that—feelings.  Reality is quite different.  Nothing I do for the Lord is useless.  So if I spend this year at home, I can still make an impact, even if I don’t feel it.  I’ve learned over the past year that many feelings I have are false feelings; that looking past them to the reality beyond is imperative to having a healthy and fulfilled life.  I may not feel fulfilled in the way I did when I was working with at-risk children, but spending time with my own children offers a world of opportunities for the cultivation of our relationship.

Actually, this school year could be like this weekend.  I am freed from many responsibilities and obligations.  Allowing the Spirit to move and work in my life, to direct my steps; this could provide open doors and experiences that will be a pleasure beyond words.  But only if I am willing to put my agenda behind and follow the leading of my Father will I be able to accomplish this:

Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,

For I am trusting you.

Show me where to walk,

For I give myself to you.

--Psalm 143:8(NLT)

Waking up each morning, giving all I am to the Lover of my soul, and taking the path He has designed especially for me can create an environment where amazing things will happen. 

With this in mind, I am starting to get excited about the opportunities this year will bring.  But if I’m going to be doing all this walking, I may need a new pair of shoes after all….