Today has been a tooth day for the Colvin family. Dentist for me and the kids in the morning, Orthodontist appointment for Carina in the afternoon. She was less than thrilled. “Haven’t I spent enough time in a dental chair already?”
Some days feel like a perpetual dental appointment. Days spent with unpalatable chores on my plate. Having to do things that make me nervous or anxious. Days of depression and weariness.
During one of those times, a friend gave me the following psalm to meditate upon:
I cry out to the Lord; I plead for the Lord’s mercy.
I pour out my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles.
When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn….
I look for someone to come and help me, but no one gives me a passing thought!
No one will help me; no one cares a bit what happens to me.
Then I pray to you, O Lord.
I say, “You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life.
Hear my cry, for I am very low.
Rescue me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me.
Bring me out of prison so I can thank you.
The godly will crowd around me, for you are good to me.”
--Psalm 142
I remember reading this, and just sobbing. Feeling very much overwhelmed, it reminded me that there was someone with compassion for my plight; someone who knew the outcome and was willing to allow the temporal pain to create something better.
I have cried out to the Lord many times, and he has rarely answered my prayers in the way I would have preferred. There has been no quick fix, no “tooth fairy” to come and take away the pain and leave a lovely gift behind instead. Why? During quiet times, when I can reflect over the pain, I can see the development of a greater dependence on my Father. I have a gratitude for God’s provision in my life that I have never experienced before. He knows what is best, and when is the best time to make it happen.
Michelle, you are a beautiful Child of Al Shaddai. I appreciate your sharing your personal struggles and steps toward healing.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine went through a period of severe depression, and she recalls just laying in bed every night, not even able to pray--because praying took energy that she did not have--and thinking of God as her blanket, warmth and security wrapping around her tightly, protecting her,loving her. In my own life, one thing I've learned is that I don't have to perform for God, that it's OK to just REST in His love. Rest. I love you, Michelle. I'll pray for your spirit to soar. --Shannon Yarbrough Sanker
Thank you, Shannon. You are a blessing, and your words of encouragement are providentially timed. I needed to hear that. And my spirit could use a little soaring.
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