Coffee House Connections

My husband and I have found a new favorite coffee shop.  It’s a bit of a drive for us, but we find it’s worthwhile for the good food and drinks, and (for us, the most important part) the atmosphere.

We went there this past Sunday, and were a bit surprised.  Our quaint little hole-in-the-wall had become a bustling metropolis.  The Christmas shopping season has indeed descended upon us, and it has touched the small town coffee shop we love.

Glad to grab the last table in the building, I was irritated at being so close to a table with four loud teenagers, prohibiting the usual intimate conversation Chris and I usually engage in during our Sunday afternoon forays.  It was a table for two, with two other teens standing with them, talking and gesturing with enthusiasm.  I was sitting facing them; Chris could not see them.

Eventually, the two standing teens left, and we were able to chat without all the noise, but I could still see the teens.  At one point in time, the boy decided he wanted to take a picture of himself and the girl at the table.  Stretching his arm as far as he could, while she leaned across the table, with both of them smiling, he took a picture.  The flash went off.

The flash illuminated the other side of the room.

He had taken a picture of the door on the other side of the room.  The girl collapsed in giggles, with a huge side of embarrassment.  Then she noticed me smiling.  We shared a smile, then a laugh, then she gestured to the boy and all three of us were laughing.  Only Chris wasn’t in on the joke, and I was laughing too hard to explain.

Suddenly, the annoying teenagers became the people I’d shared a joke with.  We had shared a smile together.  That changes everything.

Making eye contact with people, I’ve noticed, makes a huge impact.  Sharing a smile, even more.  Looking away from people creates a rift.  Engaging strangers, it’s scary.  Super-scary for people like me who have anxiety disorders.  It’s so easy for other people to not reciprocate.

But I’ve learned that being the PROACTIVE person is dangerous, but rewarding.  Looking at a person and refusing to look away…yeah, sometimes it shows you more than you want to see, but it also shows you their potential, their strengths, their enthusiasm.  It shows you their humanity.  It shows you that they are more like you than they are different.

After all, one snapshot, doesn't exactly tell you all about a person, does it?  DOES IT?