Forty

I turned 40 yesterday.  This past year sometimes seems like it’s been a time of gritting teeth and hanging by my fingernails; scrabbling and straining to continue, move on, grow.  But I thought I’d take a moment instead to celebrate the joys in pictures…

Charlie Brown.  My 39th birthday present.  Best present EVER!

Family trip to Hocking Hills.  Carina commandeered the camera and took some artistic shots.  I like this one.

Just after Christmas, I saw this double rainbow while running errands.  Had to stop in a parking lot to take pictures.  It was so beautiful, and signified a promise for a new year for me.

Carina became a teenager this year...She insisted on making her own birthday cake.  A book, blue, of course!  What a mess of frosting!  Blue teeth, blue tongues!  I talk about her birthday on this post:  http://fragileclayjars.blogspot.com/2012/01/thirteen.html

Charlie continues to be a BIG part of my life...cuddling and caring for him is a HUGE part of keeping my mood stable.  He follows me around, wanting to be in my lap whenever I am still.  I wrote about some of his misadventures
here.

 

I took a step of faith and went on a trip to Churchill Downs with my daughter and her 4H group.  I was very proud of myself that I managed to "survive" the trip without the aid of any anxiety medication!  Victory!  I mentioned our trip on this post:  http://fragileclayjars.blogspot.com/2012/05/keep-your-ponies.html

Charlie suddenly decides that nail clipping is not a fun activity, and it turns into a WWF Friday Night Smackdown entertainment.  Carina, instead of helping, grabs the camera and snaps pictures of our struggle.

Charlie has his first birthday, and to prove how totally neurotic I am over this dog, I bake him a dog-approved cake and we throw him a party.  Carina made the hat, and the other dogs got to eat slices of the cake, too.

I survive the Clark County Fair.  I've written a blog about that, so I won't say any more about that here.  You can read about it over here: http://fragileclayjars.blogspot.com/2012/07/i-survived-clark-county-fair-barely.html

Jacob got his driver's permit.  I thought that I wouldn't be able to handle driving around with him, considering I have an anxiety disorder and all, but I'm finding that I'm relatively calm with him driving.  He's a conscientious driver.  I wrote a little about him here.

  As for me, the struggles continue, mostly in the form I wrote about here:  http://fragileclayjars.blogspot.com/2012/01/namaste.html.

"Namaste" was probably my favorite blog post of the year, and the most meaningful to me.  I keep my rock prominent on the island in my kitchen, so I see it often and am reminded that I am not alone; my Father is there.  He desires to lead and direct me.  He wishes to heal me and use my experiences to help others.  He wants me to surrender to Him and accept his grace and mercy and fall into the unfailing love that is surrounding me.  If only I would use eternal eyes to see.

I've known grace this year like I've never experienced it before.  I have received it in abundance, from my Father and those around me who have chosen to continue to faith walk with me.I'm excited to look ahead to a new year, a new decade, with hope in my heart and trust that yes, in all things(even while cleaning the bathroom for the third time), God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.


It's all grace.  And somehow, it all becomes a blessing.  I believe it.