OCD Top Ten

Top Ten Things I Hate About My OCD:

1.        When people (insert “family” here) don’t put things back where they belong (and there is a place for everything, and everything belongs in its place), I go completely bonkers.

2.        Trying to hold a coherent conversation with a person while feeling compelled to count the number of buttons on their shirt, patterns on their clothing, ceiling tiles in the room, etc.  And then they ask me a question, and I nearly answer with “469!” or whatever number I’m on instead of the appropriate response.

3.       Having to wear a mouth guard when my teeth grinding gets out of control.  It’s soooo un-cool.

4.       The particular order that I am compelled to clean my house in.  It starts in the most remote area of the house and moves outward.  So people are most likely to think I’m a slob because the neat areas are rarely seen.  And since I am compelled to start the cleaning order over every day, I rarely get to certain areas in the house.

5.       Obsessing about relatively useless things, like how many cotton balls are in the jar.  Instead, I could be spending my time obsessing over thermonuclear engineering, then I could get a job with one of these new private companies making manned rocket ships, and take a trip to the space station.  Although they probably wouldn’t let someone with an anxiety disorder who has a tendency to hyperventilate to go into outer space.  (“Why are the oxygen levels being depleted so fast…hey, what’s all that heavy breathing I’m hearing over my ‘com?”).

6.       Being inflexible.  Making other people behave a certain way so that I’m comfortable.

7.       Every time I back out of the garage, I have this fear that I’m going to hit someone that may have been lying behind my car or in the driveway, and I didn’t see them.  It’s a moment of panic every time I leave the house.

8.       Did I leave the oven on?  Or is it off?  Should I go back home and check?  The house could burn down if I don’t go back home…I think I’ll just run home and check.

9.       Light switches that point in the wrong direction.  You know, the kind where there are two switches, one on each side of the room, and the on/off gets messed up.  Then “up” is off and “down” is on, and the world is just crazy!  It’s wrong.

10.   Checking things.  Is the bathroom clean?  I'm not sure.  The bathroom "fairies" may have come and dirtied it since I last cleaned it.  I'd better go check.  Oh no, they WERE here.  Better clean it again.  (Okay, I don't believe in fairies, but somehow, something made the room dirty, and I feel compelled to clean again.)

Sometimes it's easier to poke a little fun at the pain.  Later, I'll post my top ten reasons why I like my OCD.