Puppy Love

I have a tiny puppy sleeping on my lap right now.  He was an early birthday present from Chris; after my puppy-sitting experience, he thought perhaps having my very own snuggly dog would be a good thing for me.  So we picked out a cuddly lap-dog breed (actually, a therapy dog breed), looked for dogs in the area, and found a breeder within 15 minutes of our house.  Not only was she nearby, but her dogs had a litter six weeks ago, and the pups were just ready to leave home.  Several hours later, I became the proud momma of a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.  We named him Charlie Brown, and I am in love…

 I could talk about Charlie ad nauseum, but that’s not the point.  I am turning 39, and my life-long dream of owning my very own puppy has just been realized.  Never mind that in this house there live two dogs, two cats, a rabbit, and we lease a horse next door. None of those animals are mine.  What this home needed was another pet…well, maybe not.

What captivates me is having this teensy little thing, all wobbly and squeaky, who already thrills to the sound of my voice (as evidenced by the thumpy tail).  And I have the experience and confidence from pet ownership to be calm and knowledgeable about how to care for him.

I know, I’m getting to the point.  Here it is:  Dreams come true, and they are realized in God’s perfect timing.  Could I have cared for a puppy when I was ten?  Or twenty?  Or even thirty?  No!  No matter how I thought when I was a child, living in the family I had, there was no way that it would have been a positive experience.  Now I have a husband and two responsible children who are just as enamored with this puppy as I am.  I have helpers in abundance who find caring for the puppy an honor and not a chore.

So I’m dreaming BIG.  I’m not giving up.  Dogged(ha) persistence without expectations can achieve great things when the Creator of the World is involved.  I’m praying with hope for as long as it takes.  39 years to get a puppy.  I haven’t prayed for mental health as long as I’ve prayed for a puppy.

Recently, I’ve had the perspective that “this is as good as it’s going to get.”  I had decided that my mental health would not improve any more than it has.  But having another irrational dream realized has brought me to the perspective that nothing, nothing, is too big or too little for my Father to care about.  And if he can give the gift I request, he will do it when he knows it will be good for me.

The culmination of proper medication, emotional support from friends and family, spiritual healthiness, and development of confidence in myself has brought about a mental strength and clarity that I haven’t felt in over a year.  I feel wonderful and so very blessed right now. This respite from the mental storm is like taking a deep breath after being under the water.  I’m reasonable enough to know that storms are ahead, whether from within or without.  I appreciate this moment of calm to further strengthen myself, and to have the wherewithal to be able to jump into situations where I can give to others my Father places in my path.

                Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.

                They weep as they go to plant their seed,
                but they sing as they return with the harvest.

                --Psalm 126:5,6(NLT)

I am constantly amazed and overwhelmed by my Father’s ability to take negative experiences and turn them into opportunities for the expression of His love through me to others.  I know that He weeps when I weep, and then He goes to work to turn my tears to joy. Thank you, Father, for your great love for me; that you count every hair on my head and every tear I cry.  Thank you for being my Good Father who gives good gifts; gifts I had lost hope that they would ever come.  Thank you for a little puppy named Charlie and the hope he symbolizes to me.